I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize