I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
