Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
