I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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