MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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