the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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