i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
