Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
