the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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