did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
