Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.

(303): View more from Colorado

oh and he was serious.

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(858): View more from California

I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking

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(954): View more from Florida

Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.

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(770): View more from Georgia

No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.

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