Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
