I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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