Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
