Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize