help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
