you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
