My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize