is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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