Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
