a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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