Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
