My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
why do cheetos always look like penises
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
