He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
