i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They have beer where we have blood.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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