It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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