College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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