see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
