How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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