It's Friday. Sex?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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