Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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