My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
