so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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