Pappa wants mamma naked
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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