Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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