wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
