Sacagawea was the original milf.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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