i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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