.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
