Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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