He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
