I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
The ass gains better be worth it
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