I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
