...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
