then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
