Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
