I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
