put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
