Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
