we have pet lesbian snakes
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
