If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
