I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
