Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
