My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
