it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I cockslap morals
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
