The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
