no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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