i barfeds in our rink
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
