How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
