i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
