How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
