your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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