You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
