Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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