The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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